Nightwatchers in Little Snoring

Nightwatchers in Little Snoring

by Kevin Rodrigues

‘Did you see that?’

‘What?’

‘There’s a light on our church roof.’

‘Impossible!’

‘Curious I would say.’

‘What?’

‘Keep your voice down Dolly. Let’s draw into the shadow. Is young Percy O.K?’

‘He’s fine, but why are we whispering Lettie? I can’t see a thing. I must have left my spectacles in the pub.’

‘And your brains with them.’

What would someone do be doing on our church roof at two in the morning?’

‘There it is again.’

‘What?’

‘The light. But I can see it’s not a torch. It’s a cigarette. It’s more a red glow than a white glow.’

‘What was that? It sounded like a heavy weight falling.’

‘And there’s a ladder propped against the church wall.’

‘Can you hear an engine revving up?’

‘Let’s have your mobile. I’m calling the police.’

‘Look out there’s a lorry whizzing up the lane! Did 

you get the number plate?’

’You bet I did. Let’s go and have a look and see what 

has happened whilst we wait for the police.

‘Oh look. A roll of something that’s fallen across one of the graves and broken the cross.’

‘It’s lead! They have been stealing the lead off our church roof. The bastards!’

A little later.

‘That Sgt Browning was a lovely man and so courteous. Complimented us on interrupting a burglary. He checked the number plate and he knows who the villains are. They’re for the high jump.’

‘By the way, did Percy do a widdle?’

‘Oh yes, cocked his leg on the sergeant’s trousers, but the poor man was so busy taking down our statements he didn’t seem to notice.’

‘Well I never.’

‘Fancy a night cap?’

‘I think we deserve it. How about an extra tot of whisky to go with it!’

Dialogue between two bibulous elderly sisters on a walk with their Jack RusselL.

KEVIN RODRIGUES